Monday, April 25, 2005

Driving Lessons

Today, after typing one long entry, much to my happiness I find that I did not save it correctly. I could easily re-fashion my thoughts about suffering, about women I know or know of that need prayers like air.

But, I'm not sure if what I wanted to express will be better...or worse.

Last week I had my first driving lesson. I was terrified and in extasy all at once. The gas pedal and brake, the rear view mirror and side ones, turning and slowing down. Sexy I tell ya.

Big ups to the drivers in the Bronx who had no idea what I was doing. I only got honked at once.

At last, I'll finally be able to play Depeche Mode's "Never Let Down" on a road trip.


Today however, I am thinking a lot about suffering, what it does and what it brings in forms of happiness.

I am thinking about my voice returning to me after two weeks of illness and rest.
I am pondering on what makes me withhold from pleasure to focus on my dreams

I am thinking about grad school and the age I'll be once graduating.

Motherhood? Career?

Still, I worry a lot. Not for things that I can't control...but for people I wish I could do something for.
A woman's plea for prayers for her son comes with images of hunger and fear...what good is free health
care if doctors prolong the needed care for a child? Then my best friend from the club days is in total dispair.

She's pregnant, being forced to move by the end of this week, has had to withdraw from nursing school
and pick up another job to make sense of it seems

I think of how far I am away from these women. I want my best friend to come and stay with me,
let me cook for her, run her bath, relax her nerves for a minute you know...

So here I'll do something for both

Big Sis Olivia, Aunties Mary Lightfoot & Ruth, Nana Margie, Great Nana Henrietta & Great Great Nana Margaret

These women need your help

My prayers are for them tonight...