Thursday, April 21, 2011

Yesterday I purchased my ticket

Something I've learned about myself. I hesitate often on major decisions. Since receiving word that my project would be funded, I danced in my living room, I've worn a smile for a month, I've experience chest pains from anxiety, I've attempted to take a Spanish language class and forgotten everything I needed to brush up on, I've accepted the fact that I was chicken shit scared of this journey. For a solid year, I was deep in this project and never once thought it would become something. And now, well, I'm still processing. The major step was the purchase of a plane ticket and four o'clock this morning, I awoke, heart beating rapidly, announcing yet again to myself, I am going to do research for a project of my own creation. This will not be like the gigs I've done as a musician and vocalist on someone else's project. This will be me. This will be my work. I wonder if I will bring my drum. It would be nice to hear how it sounds nearer the equator than my home.