I can't write down everything between my last post and now. a lot of
thinking and lack of desire to write things. dreams have been really
important in so much that i'm waiting for someone to visit me. Which
she has but I'm caught with denial of what she's saying in the dreams.
i want her words to be good ones.But instead they are sad, they make
me wake up and shake my head. i don't want to hear "those" words.
i want the ones in my day dreams.
i have to be honest with myself. i worried more about her beyond the
suffering. i want her to be free of pain. i guess the thing i have to set
across in my head is that she is.
i arrived on the 26th around 1 in the morning. Hill picked me up and my
bags weighed a good ton for those with bad backs. both me and Hill got
that. a day and a half at her home with two cats and two adorable kids the
floor below us, we last saw each other when I went to my new address.
the environment jolted me for a moment after she left. i still haven't fully
felt in balance. but at least i got a call from Puerto Rico telling me that
I got a scholarship to pay for either my tuition or my books. that indeed
was a great welcoming gift to my one long room with high ceilings and
one deep closet...along with being beside the smoking lounge...hopefully
i'll have another just like this or better in the coming weeks.
life is funny, you apply for "black" scholarships. you get no love
you apply for "professional women" scholarships. no love
you apply for "i'm poor as shit" scholarships. nada
but the one all the way in Puerto Rico. The one that doesn't ask you to
write a statement about why you need this money.
they show the love. things never really do change.
i have heard folks talk to great lengths about thier love for San Fran. I have more days to explore it. However, i feel incline to say that i have enjoyed Oakland far better than my first day coming out onto Mission and 16th.
on the search for an ethernet cable I was befriended by a woman who called her pastor to asist me and later gave me ride to Emerville. I then got a lot of kind advice from the bus driver. Actually i've recieved a lot of sound advice from the bus drivers out in Oakland. I then befriended another woman on the bus the following day who offered to drive me to Whole Foods should I need to avoid Safeway.
i can't say that i got that on that very first day in San Fran. I got the "I can't help you, I gotta go", the "oh you're way far, you gotta go the opposite (which mind you was wrong)...i can't help you, I'm behind schedule.",
all buses and cable car maps have to be purchased in San Fran because the stations don't offer them.
there was one Chicano brother who did help and i thank him for that. otherwise, me and two Scotish girls straight from Scotland would have been in a shit load of trouble.
I will say in San Fran's defense that walking around all day after Mass at the Basilica on Dolores, I got a feeling of Spanish Harlem at the Mission. It's more Mexico than Puerto Rico. There is a lot going on in the Mission and I can buy my platanos and Yerba Matte for cheap.
I did manage to find a Bontanica on 23rd and later another more Yoruba on 21st and Valencia. They sold Palm Oil....at 3.50 the serving of a small cup of teriyaki sauce.
I'll have to find an African Food Shop soon. That's way too much.
